Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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