I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
