is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
