I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
