I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
