Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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