i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
