Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
