If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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