try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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