so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
