AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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