And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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