I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
