You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
