And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
