he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
