FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
