Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
