jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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