YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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