No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
