Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
