I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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