So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
