Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
