He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
