Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
