that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
