I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
