I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
This is my gift to your gina
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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