You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
