I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm sobbing to NWA
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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