I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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