margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
