have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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