How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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