i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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