if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
