this just has baby written all over it
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i think im in europe. pls send help
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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