Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize