I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
