I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
