We won't sleep together?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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