How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize