You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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