So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
