In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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