A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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