oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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