And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
