I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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