hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
