Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
