I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Randomize
