i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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