dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
