dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
