No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
