She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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