After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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