and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
